Smash Of the Titans
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Babble
So with A potential Blockbuster Retelling/Remix of the Epic Clash of the Titans... I thought I'd try my weird at penning a retelling. Or at least mumble up a cheat list of notes.
Now. This will be off from the main tale. I could of course spoof it, but I think it would be best to write up something closer to the chest, and then if I still feel the need spoof it. Maybe under Crash of the Titans... maybe even with a non Politically Correct narrator to explain it's offness and give a Princess Bride vibe.
But before the silly. The serious... but not internet serious. Nothing could ever be THAT Serious. Not without a Cigar and funny angry phrases on it's combat boot and a plus 5 versus Heretics heavy bolter...
On with the show
Quest A
I can't really see much changes to the standard "My Daughter had a baby while trapped away and will not reveal the father so I dunk her in the ocean forever." plot. However I think Zeus was a bit too merciful in letting him walk 3 feet. Not without some kind of heavy warning about what he was attempting. With so many temples surely someone would have warned him, but he heeded them not. So there should be at least one priest begging him to stop perhaps even possesssed and ordering him to stop. And so before she's cast too far out to sea while he could still have his men haul her back he's given one and only one final chance, and he of course doesn't take it.
The crushing begins right then as he strikes the priest down. The Men in vain try to drag her back to the shore but the current has it firmly -Poseidon is already hauling it off to Serifos. The soldiers rush home to tell everyone to beg Zeus's forgiveness. Meanwhile Poseidon and Hera urge Zeus to calm his rage, and after those most loyal to the king are swept away Zeus calms. Those who shelter in His Pantheon's temples in prayer are spared. While creatures crawl and stones are left to stand, the kingdom will be quite downcast without anyone Proper in leadership.
Perseus is raised up fine and dandy on Serifos a land very calm and peaceful such that clothing is optional much of the year -even if it was not so calm before the lad and mother's arrival. The island should be seen to be prosperous in it's own way: Plenty from the ocean, nice weather to mend what clothing people wear, calm seas to allow the swimmer and sunbather to enjoy the light of the sun and the touch of water on their skin.
A Paradise from a fishing village's perspective.
Of course Perseus shall be shown to yearn for the right training to keep a kingdom, so horse riding and work with spear and sword shall be shown. And he's seen as fantastic in battle as a hero should, but he only remarks that it's his age versus theirs for while heroism flows in his veins he is not vain. Of course with no challenge on the island, Paradise seems less so as the years weigh on.
The supernatural should find it's way into his life. Seeking any kind of adventure he searches for a missing boy on the island and stumbles upon a cave. Finding the boy within transfixed by a cobra the size of a man, he urges the boy out while distracting the snake. Perseus is faster than the snake and grabs it as it goes for the boy. About to repeat a scene from the Life and Times of Herakles the snake despondent looks off unknowingly drawing the hero's eyes to a clutch of eggs. One egg had been smashed by the boy. Perseus shows his compassion -that might later be his undoing- and releases the snake. Waryily it moves to protect it's clutch.
Perseus makes the boy who idolizes him learn his lesson by bringign food for the mother and her clutch.
Time passes and the snakes all move on being unnatural beasts. While making sure they have indeed all left -a growing Megacobra might eat the island clean his mother insists- he finds the nest wwas made in an old boat. However he steps on an egg tooth left over from one of the hatchings and seems to be poisoned fatally. The boy having followed him to check out the neat snakeless cave sees his plight, and rushes for Perseus's mother. She sends the boy after the cobras after a sudden vision.
The boy finds them on the beach after following their trail, and knowing the snakes can't understand him just falls down and begs stating that he was sent by the gods to them and he doesn't know why. Blubber Blubber. The Mother cobra coils around the lad and cutting the boy's hand leaves some venom in his bleeding palm. Not understanding why he's not stricken down the mother cobra scares the daylights out of the boy to get him running and the boy just manages to run straight to Perseus. Tripping the blood and venom spill onto Perseus, and like magic he stirs. The boy tearful and happy moves not but Danae has arrived and slathers the rest on him.
He is right as rain. Feeling emboldened he goes to where the Cobras were only to find a Young girl there. She is 80% human but one of her legs is almost entirely a snake's. She smiles at seeing him and the boy and states that she could not leave with her mother. She states wistfully that she is too injured from when the boy smashed open her egg. She regrets mother could not do more to help Perseus but that Perseus is destined for another. The two incredulous just watch as she hobbles to them, stating she has a gift for them. Lulled by her voice they don't move, and she gives them each a soft kiss. She apologizes, but she didn't want them running away in fear. She just had to passe her mother's and her own thanks to them. She and her sisters would not have survived without them. The boy unable to tear his eyes away from what he caused is torn at such a kindness considering his cruelty, and offers to help her back to the village.
Perseus smiles at the girl's protestations that she is a monster, and the boy's fierce acceptance of the title. He's the monster. He may be a hero and future king of Argos but he can't see an enemy in what's little more than a young girl dealing with a young boy who's unsure how to express himself. Romance starts in such ways.
Yes a bit Campy but we're establishing here.
Danae having found the boat thinks PErseus should use it. Go at least to the next island after the cryptic message from the Lamia for she has seen a vision of him sailing off.
AND HERE IS WHERE IT RESUMES the main plot. Thetis makes sure the lazily adventuring vessel does not follow the Lamia and her young to the next island. Instead a storm sends him to the shores of Joppa (Jaffa/Tel Aviv-Jaffa) where his boat is completely destroyed on landing. Having only the old sail for clothing when he wakes, and not even a broach pin as he was robbed clean, he can find no lodging. Flippantly someone suggests he try the haunted amphitheater. Fearlessly he does so. The Real world is not a paradise like Serifos.
Joppa
The Who are you scene plays out. The Old Man is twice as incredulous, but chasing after destiny he can understand. He easily spells out that the Lamia Queen must simply have meant that he was to wed another. She simply didn't want to be heart broken, Perseus concludes aloud. Ammon just takes his word for it, but then begins pointing out how many mythical beasts were once women and men who were cast down. He starts to mention Calibos but not wanting to worry the newcomer about the current plague besetting Joppa instead tells the tale of Poseidon and Medusa to a rapt audience.
OLYMPUS IS NOT A PLEASANT PLACE. Zeus is furious, but Thetis states she only did it to spare Perseus from the Lamia Queen. All in hopes Zeus might relent on her son, Calibos, who has surely been cursed long enough. Perhaps if he could imperil himself on a quest for Zeus's forgiveness. Zeus rebuffs her words stating not even a beautiful maiden handed to him would appease him. Hera states that if such happened she'd make Calibos worse. Not wanting anything to do with a potential roe Zeus leaves the chamber for the Amphitheater room and muses about Children making even gods mad. He sees an attempt on the playright and Perseus right before him. He dissuades them. Safe for now he storms back into the main room, where the ladies are all giggling. Thetis has calmed the rough seas between herself and Hera again... likely at someone's expense. Since Hera is smiling... his own. A bit more furious he makes his proclamations about Perseus's equipment. None say anything against it in his current state.
Finding remains of the looting attempt, Perseus practices for a bit. Ammon looks on at the sight and goes in to get him anything else to wear. He returns to see Perseus with Aphrodite's Sword. Cloaking the lad in the gold trim toga he takes the blade and admires it, but it is a tad heavy for him, he drops it, and it cleaves some marble rubble in twain.
They visit the Gifts of the Gods (with a Few Addendums that will get lost or neutralized like the others will later) and soon Perseus looks completely presentable in public, which just like in the 81 film he immediately does so. A city by day is always better than a city in the dark.
Due to the plainness o9f his toga none think to look at his sandals from Hermes, or the Athenian helmet in his hands. (And I look at the legend and see sandals were omitted in 1981 to bring more in line with the Bellerephon tale I guess.@.@)
